De-Lardification and The Mutant Diet

De-lardification not a real term, but I like it. This is my first blog post on a new diet/fitness regime I’m going to undertake late March 2016.

I am going to try to break a long history of failed attempts. There have been 1,105 Mondays since Jan 1, 1995. This is my estimated number of failed attempts.

The good news is that I’ve learned a lot about what works and what doesn’t in the diet/fitness world over the years so this time I want to try (cue Monty Python music) something completely different.


In 2002 where we lived, we routinely took baby Carolin (my daughter) out in the stroller and occasionally saw Hugh Jackman doing the same thing with his baby. (I always think of him as the neighbour we never got to know.)

As he progressed in super hero roles and I watched other actors bulk up for roles (e.g. Hemsworth and Evans) I wondered “how did they not simply die doing this?” It isn’t the required 90-hours-a-day with an expensive trainer. There has to be a method, a process.

Well, here it is:

I have no intention of looking like these guys, even if I thought it was possible. It’s the diet and methods that intrigued me.

My Goals

1. Go off blood pressure medication

2. Dramatically increase my core and upper body strength

You’ll notice that no other metrics are in my goals. No target weight change, no waist size change, no calories-per-day.

Classic Issues

When dieting, I quickly feel like it’s hopeless — a never ending hell road that ends in hell.

I’m a junkie for sugar, chocolate and wheat.

Time. I am a father of 2. I have a full time job. I run a small company on the side. (Please visit and do something on the site.) I am on three different boards (Strata, Vancouver Bach Choir and the Henry Hudson PAC). My wife still enjoys my company. This fitness regime has to be efficient.

Current Fitness Level

I currently walk home from work (35-40 mins), do yoga twice a week, do Karate on average 1.5 times per week and commute by bicycle in the good seasons. I am not utterly useless. My core strength is better than it’s ever been (thanks Karate). For those of you who don’t know me, I was never an athlete. In High School my idea of good fun was going to foreign films on Bloor Street in Toronto with friends.

Health Issues to Manage

I have allergies. I am both allergic to and addicted to wheat and sugar. Chocolate should be its own food group, not milk.

Right Hip and Knee

I have a repaired right knee (meniscus cartilage tear) and a continually clenched hip muscle. Both injuries occurred in the late 1970s and are the gifts that keep giving. The hip tends to yank out the lower back when the hip flexors and hamstrings become too tight.


I am going to sign up with a trainer who will do a one-day-a-week superhero workout with me. Then she’ll assign homework. She will also weigh and measure me blind. This is very important. A childhood trauma left me unable to handle being weighed. No one is more de-motivated by the scale than me. For purposes of this experiment, the trainer will record the data and keep them secret. Then, at the end, I can chart the voyage and see what worked and what didn’t.

For diet, I’m basically going Paleo (I read a book by this guy because it avoids the food products to which I know I’m allergic. I have a process problem, however, because my wife and kids are vegetarian and cooking a lot of meat at home is not pleasant for them. However, I have carnivorous friends who are going to help.

Blogging. As you can tell, I’m going public with this process. It’s a trick to keep me on it, regardless of success level. I also look forward to the opportunity for self-deprecating humour.

Start Dates Pending

I have to arrange many things, but I’m looking at March 28 to start with the last workout session being June 27, 2016. Maybe I’ll rename this to 91 Days Later.

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