A while back I read an article about a problem with bullying via text-messaging.  My daughter was, at the time, too young for a cell phone.  I felt bad for the kids.

Fast forward a couple of years and I find myself adding a phone and phone number for my daughter to my plan.  My focus on personal security was increasing, dramatically.  The point of the phone was to give my daughter an easy way to contact her parents plus other key, trusted people.  None of which were under 30 years of age, I noticed.

Of course my daughter was thrilled with the new device and said I did not have to give her a birthday present.  But then I said, “No, this ‘gift’ has too many strings attached.  It’s a responsibility, not a present.”

It was at this point that my Rules For Cell Phones for Minors congealed into a solid set of rules with an easy way to enforce them.

Cell Phone, especially Smart Phone, rules for children under 16

  1. Don’t give out your phone number to non-family members.
  2. Don’t answer phone calls from numbers not found in your address book.
  3. Make sure the phone has a password or locking mechanism and that your parents know it.  If you change it, you must inform parents.
  4. Do not download games that aren’t free.
  5. Don’t call anyone not in your address book without a good reason.
  6. Don’t use the browser to go to sites not approved by your parents or teachers.
  7. No social media logins until you reach the age at which parents say is safe.  (Facebook’s terms of usage says “You will not use Facebook if you are under 13.”
  8. Your phone is off and securely stored during school hours.
  9. There is zero tolerance for complaints from the teacher for playing with the device at school.
  10. There is zero tolerance for sending rude, mean or bullying emails or texts.
  11. Phone is off and at night.
  12. Report all abnormal calls or messages.
  13. Remember that your parents can review your email and usage at any time.  You must give them your passwords for any services like email.
  14. No one but family touches the phone.

Penalties

  • Immediate cancellation of the account
  • Immediate removal of the phone

My question is once parents know of text or email abuses/bullying, why did the phone continue to be in the hands of the child?  The phone is not a necessity, it’s a convenience and a serious responsibility for both parent and child.

Parent Rules

  • Test that you can access the phone and check usage every couple of weeks.
  • Set the game download features (if you have a data plan at all) to show only G Rated stuff.
  • Turn off applications not appropriate e.g. Facebook, GooglePlus, Twitter, etc.
  • Enforce the penalties.  Most providers have online access where you can turn off an account on your plan in about two clicks.

Frankly I’m amazed that my daughter still wants her phone after this, but she does email with her friends and they can do this in private without excessive beeping and ringing.  We do text simple things like “do your homework before I get home so we can go out” type of things.

The most important thing as a parent to realize is that you have the keys to the technology.  You literally own the off button.