Plan D Day 24

I tried to avoid a late night snack attack with bacon and eggs. I was in the midst of preparing upcoming breakfasts and just decided to cook more. And eat it.

I am plagued with doubt. Every food decision seems wrong. I think the cause might be self-sabotage. For example I learned of a co-worker’s health issues and the journey that person faces to correct the situation. I felt bad. The journey, were I faced with it, might be too much. But what does a person feel? Do you feel glad it’s not you? How nice. Try to give advice? Hmm. How much do I like receiving diet advice? Not much.

And there’s always the feeling of “you could do better”. One more trip to the gym. Avoid those carbs you snuck onto your plate. Push harder on the bicycle. But in the end there’s a sense that perhaps this is all a complete waste of time. It’s possible that there’s no hog-licking way I’m ever going to reach the goal. And even when I do hit the ill-defined finish line, all it means is a) hernia surgery and b) ongoing diet and fitness to maintain the finish line.

Humpf. Speaking of hernias … reminder to self and others: triangle pose and hernia do not mix.