Author: Robert Ford

Black Widow and Spider-man. It can still happen. I saw a musical in Kitsilano last night.

Mutant Diet Phase 10 Day 61
Yesterday was a classic. I was on track and added a bit of extra salad at lunch, but then skipped the nuts mid-afternoon due to scheduling issues. Next, the second child is off his game and we’re working his homework together when I thought I would be working on my homework by myself. He’s hungry and I’m hungry so food was obtained, but at a location with questionable choices. I’m happy A&W post the calorie counts because that helped.

Next we were off to a musical in which my other child was performing. My late snack really was my dinner. Later I had emergency peanuts which worked. I still feel like I’m on track.

I am begging myself not to fall off track with diet so that I’m in good mental place to look at numbers next Tuesday.

I really want the Fantastic Four to show up in film properly. Ottawa is hosting the American VP.

Mutant Diet Phase 10 Day 60
I have an attitude problem.

I read somewhere that ingrained ways of thinking are damn difficult to remove. Self-deprecation goes way, way back. As far as I can tell, dislodging old ways of thinking requires continuous conscious effort and manually inserting positive or (at least) neutral, compassionate thoughts.

The further I dig into the diet/fitness process that more raw the old memories and traumas become. It’s hard to share this, but as I was huffing and puffing over the Burrard Bridge, a friend was encouraging me to try running again. As I pondered this – i.e. how to decline gracefully – I recalled quite vividly the feelings I had when forced in grade 7 gym class to run around Glenview Senior Public. I was fat, allergic to everything, wheezing, and certain I was the subject of mocking. I sure was disgusted with myself.

Back then I didn’t know what to do. Even at my age, I have so many tools to deal with the physical challenges. I feel really sorry for 13-year-old Rob. I wish there was more I could do to help him.

A pregnant Spider-Woman takes on some Skrulls. London Ontario just because.

Mutant Diet Phase 10 Day 59

Yesterday’s training session had a weigh-in, but I asked the trainer to hold the numbers until I’m ready. No matter what though, by the end of June, I will produce a nice nerdy Excel sheet.

For what will be obvious reasons, I am switching to a different trainer. In honour of the event, we took a photo showing the difference two years and two months can make.

(click for larger image if you dare)

Something is different about the trainer.  I just can’t put my finger on it. 😉

Open question, once you get past what’s happened to my trainer, does anyone see changes in me? I think my negative nelly voices drown out my perceptions.

Spider-man in outer space. Apparently in the Yukon there were 100 kg beavers during the Ice Age.

Mutant Diet Phase 10 Day 58
There’s some relief that yesterday was pretty much to specification. Under 2000 calories, 12 km on the bike, intense workout, lots of water and pretty much brain dead by 10 PM. Oh, and unlimited urine production.

However I’m not sleeping well. It’s nasty and does not help.

Some predictability of energy levels would be nice. At the gym yesterday, I was unable to get to the stations I wanted so it was a modified workout. (E.g. a lady was using one of my red kettle bells. I swear the kettle bell weighed half of what she did.) I had a little time after dead lifts, kettle bell burpees, mountain climbers and the sled. So I did bench press. I did 3 sets of 10, 10 and 7 of the new weight of 150 pounds. So. Odd. That was at the end of the workout. On Saturday the same weigh was crap.

The mental health component is still worrying. I think my brain is balking at the level of focus needed to continue this Phase 10 and is fighting back. It seems like the habits of the past are causing great distress at being asked to change.

The future look of the Avengers? Edmonton grapples with hating carbon taxes and giant forest fires.

Mutant Diet Phase 10 Day 57
I have a bad feeling this whole process is going to boil down to mental health.

It does not take much in the way of physical or emotional strain to throw this process off.
Yesterday I was supposed to get back on track, but a child’s birthday party and other events threw off the schedule and just feeling unwell overall did the rest.

The negative voices are struggling with this. I am comfortably wearing new pants that are a full size down from the baggy butt pants from last week. It feels good, but boy oh boy does the negative voice hate this kind of talk.

And, honestly, if you don’t focus on these wins, it’s impossible to move forward. I seriously don’t get the original point of the negative voice. When was it ever actually useful?

All the Spider people dealing with the worst bad guys. There’s a bit of sports frenzy in Toronto.

Mutant Diet Phase 10 Day 56
I missed a day of blogging to due an eye test. They put in those nasty drops and blam my eyes were so off kilter I had to lie down for a couple of hours. I didn’t want to go near a computer and, worse, I was so mentally tired I didn’t want to do anything.

So I ate ice cream, which came after trying to restrict myself to an all salad day.

Now I have to deal with the self-inflicted pummelling of breaking plan. The Negative Nelly in my head will take any input and try to turn it into some cudgel to beat myself with. I’m kind of getting pissed off with this because my limited self awareness, positive affirmations and breathing techniques seem insufficient to offset the repetitive inner voice that says, “you are a fat ox and should die.” (Very hard type that out, by the way.)

I had another chance today to go to they gym, but my lower back was wanting to spasm and I am just done. Another tool for the negative voice to beat on me. But I can’t help but notice that the voice is mad at me for not going to the gym consistently. Somehow I’ve upped the standards of the negative voice.

The trick now is to take the next couple of hours before picking up my son and doing things that give me a sense of progress.

Lady Sif, Captain Marvel and Deadpool. That would be cool. Court cases in BC today.

Mutant Diet Phase 10 Day 54
Chocolate and wine last night. Yum.

But back in the saddle and if I’m to recover from the four-day weekend, this weekend will have to be as strict as my normal week days.

What was weird, until the chocolate and wine, was how absurdly hungry I was even though the calories were normal and distributed throughout the day. I was waiting for my son and had to grab egg bites at Starbucks to avoid feeling truly terrible.

I also am finding it hard to predict work out energy. Normally when I’m doing bench press I get a clear warning from the body that a rep is my last. However, yesterday I was pinned by the bar as I lost it. Fortunately there was someone to help me. Embarrassing for sure.

I guess if this process is working in any positive way, I should try to take comfort and ask the negative voices to go away.

Spider-man and Wolverine, but Spider-man seems to have a different costume. Apparently the George Massey Tunnel in Delta BC turns 60. It’s probably only been a bottleneck for 55 years.

Mutant Diet Phase 10 Day 53
It’s my 21st wedding anniversary today. I’m still on a diet so at least something is consistent.

Bad case of hangry last night. That and some gout. I had to throw the emergency anti-inflammatory drug at it, which seems to have helped. None of this helps with being strict on a diet and fitness program. Mentally, the small stuff really becomes big stuff under these conditions.

I am going to deviate tonight. We don’t have time to celebrate properly until the end of June. So I will buy some good wine and chocolate. If you’re going to cheat, you have to do it with high quality products.

This comes from X-Men vs Avengers. Possible in film? Let’s go to Nova Scotia.

Mutant Diet Phase 10 Day 52
Ouch. Yesterday, my body caught on that I’d cut off the flow of high glycemic index foods by about 10:30 AM. My body then decided to produce water at a similar rate to an uncapped fire hydrant.

Meanwhile at the gym, I weighed in, but asked the number be held until next week. The trainer then reviewed my high intensity workout. My knee position has gone off so we corrected that. To make overhead ball slams more challenging we added a slight throw at the top. Imagine picking up a 30 pound slightly squishy ball, bringing it overhead, throwing it straight up a little bit, grabbing it again and completing the repetition by slamming it into the ground. Correct hip position was vital.

I went to bed earlier than normal last night due to sore parts and the fact that I was hungry and was at risk of grazing.

I’m hoping the body adjusts a little less violently today.

Lots of cool superheroes. Let’s go to PEI.

Mutant Diet Phase 10 Day 51
Today will be interesting as a super indulgent weekend has just ended. A trainer session is today and the only saving grace is that my right hip seemed to settle down after the yoga class Sunday and a day of rest Monday.

I have a new definition for irony. There’s a gelato place near home that is open only during nice weather and it is run by a couple who recognize our family and we are friendly. On Saturday I walked in with my son, whose birthday it was, for ice cream. The proprietress remarked that I had lost weight. The lady in the ice cream shop was the first person to notice I’d lost weight. While I was buying ice cream.

I hope when my body realizes I’ve turned off the flow of refined sugar that it doesn’t punish me too badly.