Category: Phase 12

My next Suicide Squad image. The folks in Ottawa were let off the hook on a decision.

Mutant Diet Phase 12 Day 43
From a time management perspective, I’m not going to go back and document my indulgent weekend of food.

I will be back at it today as I am not giving up and I’m still doing fitness work. I did read in a Guardian article that I’m not supposed to be sore. Yeah. Right. Maybe when I was 20.

A lot of the effort now has to be on letting me feel safe restricting food choices. We all grab at euphemisms like “make better choices” or “do what’s healthy for you,” but it’s about taking a more gentle approach, one food moment at a time. Sigh. I sound like an idiot and I’m talking to myself like I know what I’m talking about, but I do know stress leads to stress eating.

So, what’s stressing me? Forget it. It’s outside the scope of this blog post. Back to salad and peanuts.

Prepare for a week of Suicide Squad. All eyes on Fort McMurray again.

Mutant Diet Phase 12 Day 41
I reflect on my dietary derailments and although I’m trying to be nice, I have to be logical. I want to get rid of most of my middle extra lard and my body won’t drop weight without severe intake restrictions. My calorie estimates show I burned more than I took in, so I should be moving the dial in the right direction, but the pace is slow.

There also seems to be a correlation with food-as-pain-management techniques. I am pushing the body, it recovers fast, and I feel it. However, I think it situation inspires me to eat, not because I deserve more calories, but because the food makes me feel less uncomfortable. I’ll have to watch how that works as I go through the next couple of days.

Captain Marvel is looking a bit green. Cornwall Ontario … there are worse places to be in quarantine.

Mutant Diet Phase 12 Day 40
Well, yesterday turned into muffin day.

What the hell.

The workouts and walking are going OK. I can tell because I’m still sore all over.

Didn’t some philosopher say, “Think not of what you fucked up yesterday, because once it’s fucked, you can’t unfuck it”?

I think I’m elaborating on a line from the movie <em>Atomic Blonde</em>.

Black Canary and Green Arrow. Houston, BC might see some extra revenue from the RCMP.

Mutant Diet Phase 12 Day 39
An odd day yesterday. I was so sore from Tuesday’s trainer session that sitting cross legged before the yoga class started was a challenge. The yoga teacher knows me, but even she’d have been surprised to find I was straining before the class even started.

I had a moment of wanting to do a chocolate run around 2:30, but I talked myself out of it. A first.

However, I weakened and ate late and incorrectly.

For some reason it’s very tricky to make the whole day go properly.

I’m not sure what I’m going to do at the gym. I’m still sore all over.

Wonder Woman reached her 750th issue, which I picked up on the weekend. The Alberta government is using dehumanizing speech in Edmonton due to a rail blockade.

Mutant Diet Phase 12 Day 38
Who says diets aren’t funny? I was keen to carry on with restarting my diet yesterday but I realized shortly into the day that there was a team lunch with sushi and cookies. If you don’t laugh, you cry.

Meanwhile I went to the personal trainer who helped me unlock my hamstrings so that I could move my deadlift from 205 to 215. I was super sore/tired (as opposed to sore/injured) for the rest of the day. I wanted to walk home but felt an urgent need to go home by bus and lie down.

Yoga is scheduled for today. That should coincide with that sore/tired feeling you have 24 hours after a serious workout.

Today should also take me closer to the diet plan. I’m playing around with my focus. My mind jumps around too much leaving me spending inadequate time on individual tasks. Becoming angry or frustrated doesn’t help. Guiding the mind gently – a kind of “over here, sweetheart” sort of tone – is where I’m trying to take myself.

Another take on Spider-Woman. Belleville is not where you’d think a rail blockade would be, which emphasizes how little many of us understand the issue.

Mutant Diet Phase 12 Day 37
Ugh. What a lost weekend, diet-wise.

Too boring to go into and will only lead to me becoming more frustrated with myself. I also have a policy today of keeping thoughts working in a sensible direction and not ineffectively negative. (E.g. I reserve the right to think ill of the premiers of Ontario and Alberta.)

Today I see the trainer and I’ve requested time to stretch out the hamstrings, which are not happy. I can’t do the other work with the legs and back are locked up.

Onward and upward.

People want Deadpool and Loki to meet on Loki’s Disney+ show. Looks like Ontario is not managing teachers’ unions very well.

Mutant Diet Phase 12 Day 32
I received a good kick in the pants on email yesterday about negative self-talk. Obviously it’s bad. Interestingly I wrote a blog post saying I had to engage my higher functions to remind myself not to eat the wrong things at dinner time. The scanned diet sheet entry will illustrate the problem.

So, enter negative self-talk. The list of derogatory things I could call myself is long. Let’s just skip that step, shall we? Perhaps move onto planning how to do better?

I think accepting that this process of diet/fitness has been tough for me since I was six might be a start on being less ARGH about the whole thing.

Spider-man and the Hulk from a comic cover I own. Victoria‘s legislature saw some excitement yesterday.

Mutant Diet Phase 12 Day 31
It’s time to ponder. Pondering is best done when stuck in a doctor’s clinic’s waiting room (nothing serious and unrelated to diet/fitness). Also, my laptop battery is flat so I’m left with my phone.

My food self-control weakens right after lunch and at dinner. There’s an urge to find chocolate at 2 PM and a desperate urge for bread/chips/rice related products when I’m preparing dinner.

Given the near atomic clock predictability, you’d think I’d be able to conceive some sort of strategy. Plan for a distraction at 2 PM. (I was thinking of a walk, but it would have to be away from Rexall pharmacy or Urban Fare.) Eat a pile of greens right when I get home. Or simply say, “This uncomfortable sensation you are having is likely an indication that what you are doing is working.”

The discomfort at these moments are free of any coherent thought. For example, am I feeling cheated? Is any part of me really thinking that I’m at risk of harm if I don’t eat whatever I’m craving? Does any part of me think – anytime soon – that the world will run out of chocolate and peanut butter?

All I have to do is remember to think.

Spider-Woman – Sony may try her out. I’m not liking conflict between residents and protesters in Courtenay.

Mutant Diet Phase 12 Day 30
OK. The cheesecake is done. Long live the cheesecake.

I feel a little more normal today. Perhaps it was the joy of being able to walk home last night with light and no rain. There was a wonderful view from Burrard Bridge.

I now have to retrench into limiting the carbs without making myself crazy. I spoke with a counsellor and the job is to try to reduce the number of things that are worrying me and be a bit kinder to myself.

One step will not be weighing when I see the trainer. With a recent intake of dairy (i.e. cheesecake last night) my whole system will be out-of-whack so the number will just be annoying. I’d rather work on my deadlifts.

The real goal is focus. Can I stay with a topic for chunks of time? I am thinking of picking music (e.g. a symphony) and see if I cannot be diverted while the music is on.

Spider-man and Dr. Strange. Trenton Ontario is home to some weary travelers for a couple of weeks.

Mutant Diet Phase 12 Day 29
It’s time to refocus. The weekend was an odd one. Friday evening was my wife’s birthday celebration followed by CAKE. This lasted into the weekend and included my youngest having a fever and me picking up some of that and spending time in nap-mode.

Last night, however, I did do the usual Sunday night yoga class and I am really trying to work with the right hip and use my new found strength to try to ease it out of its stuck position. Yeow.

I could tell the yoga workout did something because about 2 hours afterwards, I was trying to crack some eggs to make scrambled eggs and I barely had the strength. I was sore everywhere. I was waiting for my teeth to hurt.